A Brain Dump…

Bear with me….

I have struggled to find a place to just dump all my thoughts and feelings . Because some thoughts and feelings are deeply connected to my creative and artistic self - something most people can connect to. Creating photos that are pleasing to the eye…. creating conversations… highlighting important stories…..inspiring others…. Heart & soul stuff.

Sunrise west of Beaverlodge June 24, 2021

Then some thoughts and feelings are centered around education and experience - something only other photographers would understand…. Beginners like me understand the need to learn and do more, and things experienced photographers have already learned and conquered.

The rest are usually around the negative self doubts…. Feeling inadequate in one way or another. Not having the “right” equipment, not understanding the settings, techniques, or business, not having a lot of extra time, etc. So many others are so much better….

Clover flowers are one of my mot favorite things to photograph

So if I seem all over the map, it’s because I struggle with where to go to dump my thoughts. My non-photography friends don’t “get” my technical stuff. And the photographer friends who do - well, I feel like it should be a paid service to be able to pick their brains! And in terms of creative and artistic stuff… I have ideas that could keep me busy for a decade just to learn and try to create. And then the self doubt just drags everything down.

Field of wishes June 24, 2021

I love to take photos. I daydream a lot about having the financial freedom to photograph what I desire. Tell the stories that need to be told… some stories are quite personal to my own past, and others just need to be told and I really feel like I have a gift enough to help. (Which I do understand how weird that is since I have a lot of self doubt lol).

Maybe it’s an artist thing, maybe it’s a pandemic thing, or a midlife crisis type thing. So for now, I’m just going to keep trying. Take courses as I can. Add to my equipment as I can. Practice as I can - And push myself beyond my comfort zone. And keep dreaming and never give up on what I believe in. No matter how uncomfortable it is.

Welcome to this crazy journey of mine!