Comparison is the thief of joy

It happens all the time. We compare bits and pieces (or chunks!) of ourselves to others and what they’re doing.

As they say (I don’t know who THEY are per se)

“Stop Shoulding On Yourself”.

I’m a big “should-er”. I SHOULD a lot. Like I should stop should-ing.

** ok, I’ll stop **

Let me be grossly vulnerable right now. I’m in a place with my photography where I see that I have “it” (a gift, talent, an eye, passion, whatever you want to call it and I’m finally able to say and feel this without feeling like I’m being conceited)

But in my attempts to follow allllll the cool and experienced photographers for inspiration & education…. I also get the “wow, I’m not so special/unique/blah blah blah” feeling. When that feeling gets intense, I pick up my camera less.

Like lately.

There is a pretty consistent battle internally when it comes to my photography. And I think it happens to a lot of people when it comes to something they are deeply passionate about. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s just me.

I love to take photos. It gets me outside. It gets me active. It gets me to appreciate everything around me. Plus, nature is pretty rad. Magical even! The things I have been able to see and shoot….. it has made a permanent positive imprint on my soul.

But I am fully aware that I struggle to take & make the time to do it the way I desire. I daydream of driving away with full batteries, empty memory cards, a passenger seat full of snacks and zero responsibilities. With young kids, a nearly full time job, helping with the farm, and all the other adult responsibilities we have…. Not so possible especially in the Spring to Fall months when the farm is in full swing.

Maybe I’m making excuses.

Maybe I’m not making it a priority.

Maybe this is just this chapter in life.

Maybe it’s all the above.

I’ve had a lot of people tell me they enjoy my work. It’s so sweet and feels so weird to me. I feel like an imposter - “Hahahah! Tricked them into thinking I have talent!” Which is kind of ridiculous since I did in fact capture and edit every image I have ever put out there. Whether I knew what I was doing or not. Some have even said they would buy pieces - canvases, photo books, calendars…. Heck! I even have a cool photo project idea that is kind of unique, but it is so alien as to where I should start. So it’s sitting in a box at my house somewhere. Because.. I mean, who do I think I am?

And when it comes to selling my art…. I am terrified of making that financial commitment to make the things and then try to sell them. It’s not why I started taking photos. But then again, maybe it’s what will allow me to purchase new equipment, take more courses, etc.

Questioning my capabilities is something I am working to overcome. And in my photography, it’s no different. I have big dreams. HUGE. I can really, truly see myself doing fantastic work with my camera. I can see myself making a difference in this world with what I capture and how I make people FEEL. I love telling stories (as long as I don’t have to say it in voice format!). And the fact that we can tell a story with an image is just so awesome. Whether it’s getting up close and personal (thanks to a telephoto lens) with wildlife, telling the story of life on the farm, showing how really COOL small bugs can be (and not as scary), or capturing the essence of a beautiful human…. my end game goal is to make people FEEL something.

I am working on comparing less, and dreaming more. Focusing on actually doing the things I need to learn and grow (baby steps!) and less on how I want my big picture things to look.

Pick up the camera

Take photos. Of anything & everything

Learn. Adjust. Learn. Adjust.

I need to remember to stay in my own lane and keep on trucking!

It should be an exciting journey no matter what!